The Colonoscopy Chronicles: Prep Day One Recap

I’m married to my morning routine, maybe to the point that I’m a bit OCD about it. I wake up, grab the paper from the porch, remove the elastic and lay it out just so on the kitchen table, fix myself my ‘wake-up tummy!’ drink of water+freshly squeezed lemon juice+apple cider vinegar while the coffee brews, and typically get started on making my breakfast depending on what I feel like having that day. Then I sit down with my coffee, breakfast and the paper for some quiet reading and face-stuffing until it’s time to get moving. Yesterday, two key components to my morning routine were missing: breakfast (most importantly) and the newspaper, as it was a holiday. Still, I made my drink and coffee, opted for a book in lieu of the paper, and inhaled some jello as ‘breakfast’. As I sat outside reading Poser by Claire Dederer (highly recommend!), I found myself thinking “eh, this isn’t so bad! I’m not even hungry in the slightest bit, this is going to be cake!” (just realized I keep using that expression, clearly I want cake. Pancakes. Anything sweet, fluffy and baked…). Even so, things just felt very off from the get-go.

                Since I can’t run due to injury and inability to refuel afterwards, I opted for a walk. Typically, this would be with Charlie but yesterday I just wanted to go at it alone and treat myself to Starbucks afterwards. I went to Malden Park, aka Runner’s Paradise, and walked the hilly trails there. If there was anything to be gained from having to slow it down on the running/work-out front, it’s that you notice so much that you never did when you’re ‘in the zone’ and training. I discovered TONS of trails in the park that I never knew existed. I always thought there was just the giant hill and the paved trail around it, I had no clue that if you actually go into the hill, there are even more hills, with paved trails, dirt trails, rocky trails, trodden-grass trails – every kind of terrain imaginable! If I need to do a hill workout, I’ll take it to Malden. And if I need to work on speed: Malden! Trail running or practice with various kinds of terrain? Malden! Flat road running? You guessed it, Malden! You can train for virtually any kind of race there, it’s incredible. The views from the tops of these hills are just breathtaking, too, and getting to stop and appreciate them was a nice change from just running past and giving a quick glance. After the park, I walked to Starbucks nearby and got myself coconut water and a venti iced coffee.  That coffee just hit the spot, it was hot and I was thirsty. Then I went to Rexall just across the street, where they had Aquafina Vitamin Water on sale, 2 for 2:50! And the strawberry-lemonade flavor was miraculously clear! YAY! I grabbed 4 of those and then called my mom to pick me up. In the end, 5.4 miles of solid walking and climbing, not too shabby!

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                When I got home, I dawned my bathing suit for the first time this summer, laid out a towel in the back and rolled on to my belly to lay out in the sun for a bit, because you know I hadn’t been in the sun ALL morning or anything. I wasn’t out there long, I started to feel light-headed and packed it in. By this point, I was starting to really feel hungry, and a little grouchy. My mom and Nonna were in the kitchen getting things ready for dinner, like breading chicken and boiling all of my kale (boiling veggies makes me sad, all those nutrients just leeched out into the water…) since I won’t be able to eat it. Note to self: don’t stock up on groceries the week of a colonoscopy.

                I was so sleepy at this point, and hungry. I could feel a headache coming on. I wondered what I could drink to get my energy up and make me feel full while I waited on the turkey broth my mom was making for me (bless her!) when it dawned on me that I could get some kombucha tea! We headed over to Fred’s Farm Fresh Market, this cute little market that’s kind of like a Whole Foods, where they have all kinds of healthy-foodie stuff you can’t find in a regular grocery store, and picked up some Citrus Kombucha. They also had miracle noodles, which are so hard to find, and protein chips and just all kinds of goodies! You know what else they had going on in there? Free samples of fruit, guacamole, cheese…like come on!! I was so bummed. That guac looked delicious.

                The kombucha saved me. It filled my tummy and perked me up a bit. When I got home, I warmed up some broth and watched TV for a bit. Then it was the moment I was dreading: taking a laxative. I kept hearing how horrible it is, that you’re running to the toilet every 2 seconds so to expect not to sleep. The stuff itself is NASTY. Whoever thought flavoring this ‘milk of magnesia’ junk with mint was a moron, like can a girl get some vanilla up in here? After downing it and chugging water afterwards to distill the taste as much as possible, I was starting to feel nauseous, I was crabby, and a little bloated. The rest of the night kind of followed suit, I couldn’t wait to just go to sleep. I had some more broth, made some sugar cookie tea and watched the beginning half of Brave before calling it a night. And by night, I mean getting up every 2 hours to pee. The effects of the laxative haven’t really been felt, at least not to the extent that I’ve heard about. There are still 2 other things I have to drink to clear me out today, once at 2pm and again at 8pm, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m kind of scared…

                Day one, all in all, wasn’t awful but was no picnic either. I miss food, solid, chewy food. That’s honestly the worst part of it all. I hate feeling so zapped of energy. I want to go out and do things, to move, go to body pump and spin class, go for a run – but I can’t, and that’s frustrating. I’m bored. TV doesn’t do it for me, and surfing the web only keeps me occupied for so long before I’m over it. I’m in a constant “just don’t feel like it” mood. And the tummy gurgling is starting to get really off-putting, especially when trying to sleep. I keep reminding myself I’m practically halfway through this whole thing, I can do this! I just need to hang in there and not fixate on being hungry or tired or blah because that will just make it worse. Instead, I’m trying to think of what I’ll eat first when I get back to my regular diet and the run I’ll go on to Malden Park!

                I’m debating right now between overnight oats (I have an almost-empty jar of peanut butter waiting for me), pancakes, waffles, a green smoothie or chia protein pudding for my first meal back. That, or roasted kabocha with a mug cake baked in it, or BBQ kabocha and eggs. Or ‘egg in a hole’, this cool thing I saw while watching Eat St. where the guy fried an egg, cut a hole in a piece of bread and then placed it over the yolk, so when you break it, it’ll seep into the bread and be all delicious. Or maybe I’ll treat myself to a restaurant meal, because who really wants to spend time cooking after you spent 2-3 days not eating?! And I want to bake something! Maybe a healthy, GF bread like carrot or zucchini bread, and I’ve been dying to make a raw dessert, like mini cashew-cheesecakes. So much to do! So much to plan! See, not being able to prepare and eat food leaves plenty of quality time to go on dreaming about it.

What would you eat for your first meal back if you had to fast for a few days?

Any suggestions on a good overnight-oat combo that I could make?

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The Colonoscopy Chronicles: Honey, I Need a Colonoscopy

                Warning: Shit’s about to get real real. The following content contains subjects that may be offensive to some and is not suitable for all readers. Subsequent installments to the series may or may not be laced with negativity, pessimism, whining and just plain, hunger-induced bitch mode. Reader discretion is advised.

                Dear readers and friends, I’m feeling as though it’s about time we take our relationship to the next level and really get to know each other a bit more intimately, to get to the nitty-gritty, nasty and juicy stuff that true friends learn about and love you for( or in spite of) afterwards. For runner friends, it’s a subject that only brings you closer together as you relish in the shared, life-altering experiences sometimes ironically characterized as ‘the runs’, but encounters with which also include prairie-dogging and sharting. It’s the giant, stinky elephant in the room we are all extremely well aware of and intimately familiar with, yet politely ignore and cover up with tulips and daisies. Today, ladies and gentleman, I’m going to talk to you about poop – my poop – and where it comes from, and the GI issues I’ve been dealing with that I hope to get cleared up with a dreaded colonoscopy scheduled for this Wednesday morning. Hence, ‘The Colon Chronicles’, where I’ll be posting candidly about my experience during the two-day prep period, the procedure itself, and the aftermath.

                Why share this undoubtedly “TMI” experience with the very public internet?

On the one hand, writing (and/or whining) about my colonoscopy (so hungry! FEED ME!) is just one of the ways I plan on keeping myself and my mind occupied for the next four to five days as I’m restricted to a ‘clear liquid diet’ that prevents me from doing much of anything and frees up the time I would’ve spent cooking/eating. In other words: I’m starving and not allowed to eat anything other than lemon/lime jello, broth and water. Forget the physical effects of this (nausea, hunger pangs, dizziness, depleted energy, general blah-ness), mentally I’m starting to go a little nuts, and it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet! Besides the fact that I simply love food, and am a proud healthy-foodie, I had to skip breakfast this morning. BREAKFAST! The best meal of the whole day! Thank God I can still drink coffee, or else I’d be cutting a btch.

                On a more serious note, though, colon health is really important but is typically a bit of a touchy subject for people and therefore overlooked. Does the phrase “girls don’t poop” sound familiar? Did you just giggle at the word poop? I rest my case. You get the kiddie giggles or the squished up facial expression because poop is just so taboo. It’s no picnic talking about poop either, but someone’s gotta do it! You know, you can tell a lot about your health from your poop! Health and fitness folk focus so much on nutrition and working out for healthy looking outsides, but what’s even more important are healthy insides, especially the colon – where do you think all those healthy, clean foods get broken down to ‘fuel’ us? The way I see it, the colon is an important part of our internal Fuel Factory, the conveyor belt and extractor those post-workout protein pancakes travel through, separating the nutrients from the waste and putting all that goodness to muscle-building, energy-giving work! We don’t give the colon much thought, but it’s actually pretty awesome and crucial to our healthy living. I’m hoping that by being candid about my own experience the taboo veil will be lifted a bit and get people asking questions about their own poop. Maybe you’ve been dealing with some tummy issues and just don’t know what it is, have tried changing your diet and drunk kombucha tea, maybe even dabbled in a cleanse or detox to no avail. Maybe you noticed something strange about your bowels but are just too embarrassed or unaware to look into it further. Hopefully, by reading The Colon Chronicles, those of you asking yourselves those questions about your own GI issues can get some clarity and decide whether you should talk to your doctor about it, too. And finally, those going through the dreaded camera-up-the-bum procedure themselves can maybe gain some helpful tips and tricks to make it as pleasant an experience as possible, as I’ve noticed in googling for tips/tricks/real life experiences that there isn’t a whole heck of a lot out there that I found catered to me as an active individual/runner and as a clean-eating health-nut.

Why am I getting a colonoscopy?

                For the past year and a half, I’ve dealt with GI issues – irregular bowels, bloating, gas, and general tummy discomfort. On top of that, a relentless fatigue and general crummy feeling that couldn’t be explained. I eat well, I get enough sleep, I’m active – and yet, I feel like junk. Immediately, I assumed it was a diet thing. So I tried cutting common allergens like dairy and soy, I went gluten-free (the one alteration that actually DID help me in a myriad of ways and had me feeling better), I tried going vegan and paleo, pescatarian, lacto-ovo vegetarian…you name the lifestyle, I’ve tried it. Still, nothing really hit the nail on the head. Then came the scary part: turning to flush the toilet and seeing red. The first few times it happened, I wasn’t too concerned. Maybe it was something I ate, or maybe I’m seeing things, it’s probably nothing. The incidents would cease and things would be fine, until I started to bloat again a week later and feel crummy, followed by that dreaded, alarming color staining the white interior of the porcelain throne. It’s a terrifying discovery, turning around to flush and seeing a cloud of red where there shouldn’t be one. I brought it up to my mom, and we decided to take a trip to the doctor. We did blood tests for the fatigue, but things were pretty normal aside from red blood cells that showed up as being darker than the average person’s and B-vitamin levels being in the normal range, however on the low end of normal.

                Eventually it was decided I’d get a colonoscopy, and was referred to Dr. Morgan, aka ‘The Butt Doctor’, the fella who will have the pleasure of inserting a camera into the abyss and take a look around.  Meeting him was nerve-wracking, I mean this is the strange dude who’ll be inserting a camera where cameras should never, ever be and taking a very intimate look around. If you ask my sister, I’ll no longer be a “butt virgin” (ew).  Thankfully, he turned out to be a really nice man, very knowledgeable and just pleasantly comfortable to be around. He reminds me of Earl Gray Jones. Mufasa is performing my colonoscopy, and it couldn’t be more fitting because hakuna-matata is definitely a philosophy I’ll need to hang on to these next few days.

                 Yesterday was the pre-prep preparations: stocking up on ‘clear liquid diet’ approved sustenance. I’m not even going to dignify calling this junk ‘food’ because it’s so not. Water, juice/Gatorade, black coffee and tea, broth, jello, popsicles, and clear hard candy are allowed, but they can’t be colored red, purple or orange. What did I do? Buy a ton of strawberry and raspberry jello and just one box each of lemon and lime. We had to return the good stuff. One of the concerns I had was sugar. The things allowed on this ‘clear liquid diet’ aka Foodie Chinese Torture (mmm Chinese…fried rice…cauliflower fried rice…with egg bits…omg) screamed SUGAR to me. And the worst kind of sugar, the nasty, white, refined sugar. No way, I thought, there is no way.

Enter: coconut water, nature’s energy drink, no refined sugar and loaded with goodness. Yes, please! Besides drinking it, I used it to make my jello, of the sugar-free variety. I happen to love jello, and this electrolyte charged version has me thinking it’d be great to have as a pre- and post-workout treat this summer, especially frozen! Another great alternative to the recommended ginger-ale or mountain dew is kombucha tea! Before I picked some up today, I was feeling hunger pangs, a dizzying headache and just plain blah-ness. I cracked open a bottle of Citrus Kombucha and 10 minutes later it was like someone injected the life back into me. Instant pick-me-up! And since it’s carbonated, I didn’t feel physically hungry anymore. The best part is a whole bottle only has 4g of naturally occurring sugars, hooray!  Another God-send is my mother, she made me home-made turkey broth that is downright delicious. I love that woman.

I had a bit of a bitch-fit yesterday when I realized just how long I’d have to be ‘off’. I thought it was a 2-day thing; meanwhile it’s ending up swallowing my entire week! This liquid diet thing is going to be the death of me, I love food/eating and for the next four days I’m denied the most basic human instinct. All day I think about food, what I can make, recipe ideas, how I can alter it, what fun foodie blogs I can find, interesting food on Pinterest, seeing all the ‘fit-food’ on Instagram and posting my own meals, dinner as family time, lunch dates with friends – you never realize just how much food takes up your life until you’re told you can’t have it. I thought trying to go paleo was hard (No oats? No yogurt? No beans/legumes? No peanut butter?!!), but compared to this it’s a cake-walk. What made this even more of a piss off, besides the whole no food thing and fact that it’s Victoria Day Weekend and everyone and their Granny’s are out barbecuing and having picnics and patio time, is that the plan I’d made on halfmary.com to start marathon training was supposed to start this week, but since I can’t eat I can’t run/train like I usually do. I’m also really kind of ADD when it comes to being active, I just don’t like sitting still, I need to move, to do, to explore! I’ve had to seek out alternatives and a back-up plan, keeping it light, seeing this as a chance to slow down and give my body a break. It kind of worked out in a way considering my hamstring/groin issue is, well, still an issue and keeping me from running anyways. Instead, I’ll be doing lots of walking and/or yoga this week. It’s frustrating, considering I just started to see the strength gains I’ve been working so hard for and knowing I’ll lose some of it because of this whole fasting/liquid diet thing. But I can’t let that get me down!

Right now, I’m most afraid of the laxatives I have to take. I’ve read so many horror stories, and heard how awful it is and being strapped to the toilet for the next few days, to expect not to sleep, which is the only solace I was expecting to get out of all this…I’m praying I’m the exception to the rule, and that it isn’t as awful as so many have said it is. It’s just pooping right? And, just like that ‘cleaning out’ runners often experience after a gruelling workout or long run, I’d imagine it’d be much like that. Ah…wish me luck!

On the bright side: the first and last time I’ll ever be on hallucinogenic drugs. Yippee!

                Stay tuned for further installments such as: Things you can do during colonoscopy prep that you couldn’t or wouldn’t do otherwise; what NOT to do during colonoscopy prep; how to maintain your sanity and keep from turning into a couch potato; hangry rants.

Follow me on Instagram for constant updates with photographic evidence, most likely of liquid things and most likely lots of pictures of Charlie.

Follow me on Twitter for up-to-the-minute updates.

Have you ever had to have a colonoscopy or know someone who’s had one? How was it? Any advice?!

 Do you suffer from GI issues? Have you considered a colonoscopy?

Transformation Tuesday: Runners Recruit

It’s pretty common knowledge that when a runner isn’t running, they’re thinking about running, and when they aren’t thinking about running it’s because they’re talking about it, and if they aren’t talking about it it’s because they’re in the middle of 400m 5k pace interval sprint during a track workout and physically can’t. Us runners, we kind of like to pester about running, too, don’t we? We are the door-to-door vacuum salesmen of the fitness world, looking to hook everyone on to this really cool thing called running, this thing you can do that’s just the best of the best, top of the line, nothing in the world like it!  We’re also pretty used to the usual rebuttal of “I can’t run”.

“Pish-Posh!”, we say, “Of course you can run, everyone can run!”

“I hate running. It’s hard.”, they say.

“It’ll get easier, you’ll love it!”, we insist with a grin.

“You’re crazy.” They chortle, but there’s an air of ‘no for real, you’re out of your mind and I really hope you stop trying to get me to run because it ain’t happening’.

“Only half, I’ll be full crazy this fall.” We boast proudly, secretly hoping they ask about our training plan.

There are the few and far in between that give in, that stick with it and realize running really is all that in a bag of sweet and salty ketchup chips. They’ll admit it felt like death at first, as it does for all of us, but then something crazy amazing happens and it actually feels good. It might actually even be fun, feeling your heart pound in the centre of your chest and your mouth agape gulping the air as sweat rolls down the side of your face as you wonder ‘who is this person? I LIKE THEM!’.

If you’re a runner, you’re probably smiling and nodding. This has happened, you’ve successfully been the recruited and/or the recruiter. In the end, every runner is a recruiter even when they aren’t trying. I was recruited by runners I’d see on the side of the road. There was something so beautiful, so incredibly amazing about a body in motion, a body running. It was so bare, so organic and free. I wanted that. One day, I was done wishing and took the plunge. Today, I’m the recruiter. Just this morning I was trying to encourage a fellow member of the Torture Tuesday crew to run. I was met with the usual “I can’t run, I run like Forrest Gump” and I said, “nonsense, everybody can run!”.

Any time I’m met with that typical denial of one’s ability to run (silly bones, every one CAN run, many just won’t), I’m reminded of the beginning of my running journey, and my weight loss journey. I stand firmly behind the statement that running saved my life. Before running, I was on an emotional roller coaster with myself, my body, weight loss, and just being in general. But running brought me out of that dark place, it gave me purpose, it gave me hope, and okay it gave me a pretty great butt and kick-ass calves that are pretty awesome to have, too. I remembered I used to blog on SparkPeople, back when I used it to track calories/workouts in the very beginning 3 years ago. Reading those blogs, hearing my voice three years ago, the emotions I was feeling, the attitude I had, and a blog entitled “So I’ve started C25K” kind of rocked my world today. Reading my account of my first experience with a beginner’s running program and the fears I had about running while overweight, running outside where people could see me, and just running in general, I realized how universal everything I went through was to anyone starting their running journey. The running recruit in me laced up her recruiter shoes and demanded I share it. I agreed.

If I read this blog back then, I would have felt like I had someone in my corner, someone who understood my fears, and a source of motivation and inspiration to get me out of the door regardless. So, dear reader, if you’re a newbie runner, or on a weight loss journey and looking to get into running, if you’re afraid of failure, of the sport that taunted you in gym class and made you feel like you can’t, I’m here to tell you, to show you, that YOU CAN. Because I did. I was there, I was you. I am you and you are me. See where this road can take you, lace up those shoes and start running down it. You’ve got this. There is no “I can’t”. That phrase does not belong in your vocabulary. There is only “I can” or “I won’t”.

And now for a pinch of honesty from one runner to another: I’m afraid of running. Lately I’ve been waging a war with the task of the marathon, going back and forth between feeling like if I just work hard at it I can conquer that distance, and telling myself maybe I’m just not cut out for the marathon, being a half-marathoner isn’t so bad either, it’s a good distance, it’s comfortable enough to be done and challenging enough to be a pretty great accomplishment. It’s this inner-battle with myself that’s been seriously messing with my running mojo. Taking a trip down memory lane, reading words that came from myself three years ago when my fears regarding running could have kept me from running, period, and how I acknowledged, then disregarded, all of that fear and doubt and did it anyway. I ran a 5K. I ran a 10K. I became a half-marathoner. And now I’m there again, fearing and doubting, and you know what? I’m done making excuses. Us runners, we’re always encouraging everyone around us to pursue the run, to push further, to go the extra mile, run 10 seconds faster than 5K pace, chanting “YOU CAN DO IT! (there’s a beer and a slice of pizza at the end if you do!)”, yet when it comes to ourselves it’s so easy to doubt, to fear. Well, as my girl Adrian would say, it’s time to chase fear.

I have a dream. You have a dream. I dream of that finish line, of the ribbon of that 26.2 finisher’s medal against my neck, the weight of it against my heart. You, well you may dream of running from your driveway to the mail box without stopping, the satisfying gulp of air in your lungs when you do it. Or maybe it’s crossing the finish of a 5K in under 30 minutes, or to run a 10K in 60. Maybe it’s to step on the scale and see it go down, or to fit into a cute pair of jeans. Wherever you are on your running or weight loss journey, know that you can. I know I can. I did. And I will again. And you can, too. We’ll do this together. All you have to do is lace up and open the door. 

When it comes to success, the old adage “it’s a marathon, not a sprint” couldn’t be truer. If you set your mind to it, work hard and keep at it when the going gets tough, you will get to YOUR finish line!

That’s (not-so) Hot

What’s hot? I’m actually writing a blog post right now, hooray! I seriously need to form some kind of habit for this thing, I have so much to share, but life has a funny (not-so-hot) way of demanding my time, you know? I’ll come around, I swear!

What’s not so hot? By some freak of nature, winter came back this weekend. I guess it’s not totally unusual, considering it’s Canada and all, but COME ON Mother nature! You can’t just give me a week and a half of pure, warm, sunny bliss and then slap me in the face with freezing temperatures, gusting winds and a cloud-filled sky the next!

What’s hot? How active I was last week! After my Cinco de Mayo LDR and festivities that followed, Monday ended up being a bit  of a slow day with lots of walking and a BodyFlow class. Tuesday, I was up and at ‘em with a 4.25 miler, then walked Charlie, and even took the bike out for a spin! Wednesday was a 5 miler with hill repeats thrown in, a human-less dog that ran away from me and subsequently missed out on being saved as I found him AFTER my repeats, the little bugger took off on me and I was like, psh you’re on your own buddy. Thursday I walked and walked, first with Charlie, then to the grocery store later on and around town, then I did some yoga. And Friday, I ran to the gym and hit up BodyPump, a run I’d greatly underestimated by 1.6 miles, but it was no biggie, 4.6miles were welcomed.

What’s not so hot? My blah-workouts this past weekend: Saturday was supposed to be my long run, but I ended up just doing some yoga. Sunday, Mother’s Day, I’d planned on running long to prep for a buffet lunch/dinner, but ended up biking to the gym for yoga instead. My body has just been craving yoga lately! On the bright side, I stuffed my face at the buffet, it was delicious! Not-so-hot: feeling like a sick, beached whale afterwards. Oh, but it was worth it!

What’s hot? Running free. I woke up yesterday with a lack of running mojo yet again. My mojo is bipolar, y’all. One week it’s like ‘YES RUNNING!’ and the next it’s like ‘eh, running…‘ and my heart is like ‘But…running <3‘ and my brain is all ‘ah, but that constant forward motion just on and on and on…‘ and my heart is like ‘but the high, THE HIGH!‘ — see what I mean? Bipolar. I was determined to run yesterday, so I decided to throw a wrench into my typical routine, ditched the watch, cranked the tunes and went for a run where I found every challenge I could, and what’s better than some hills? I ran to THE hill here, at Malden Park, and discovered tons of new-to-me trails that run all through this giant hill. It was the coolest!

Trails IN the hills? SCORE!

View of the Detroit Skyline from the top of one of the hills. It was GORGEOUS.

Made it to the top!

View of the big pond below, where geese droppings are plentiful…

What’s even HOTTER? Hot power yoga. I went to my first hot power yoga class last night at an actual, bonafide yoga studio. I was kind of disappointed with the ‘hot’ aspect. I mean, it got hot, but it wasn’t as hot as I’d expected it to be. I did get a good sweat going, though, it felt so good. (Anyone else just love sweating? Just me? Yeah?…)The yoga, however, was fast and intense, definitely a 180 from what I’m used to. It was so much fun, though! I had a blast, and found myself loving the challenge. I was also loving the two very good looking gentlemen across from me, also trying hot yoga for the first time. What’s not-so-hot? I more than likely looked like a hot hot mess. Eh, what can ya do? On the bright side, I LOVE HOT YOGA! I can’t wait to go back for another class. They’re also doing a 60-day Yoga Challenge at this particular studio starting in June, where you sign up to do so many classes within the 60 days. That’s hot! What’s not so hot: being unemployed and unable to commit to the challenge financially, on top of being licence-less and having to rely on the madre for rides which means not knowing when I can go to yoga, if at all, during those 60 days.

What’s hot today? The return of *drum roll please* TORTURE TUESDAY!!!! Body Pump followed  by RPM class with my favorite instructor, Karen! I’m so excited, it’s been so long! I’m debating a quickie run later on, we’ll see how the day pans out. I know Charlie would really appreciate a quick jaunt…

What’s hot (or not-so) in your fitness life, lately? Have you ever done HOT yoga? Are you a sweat-appreciator like I am? Share in the comments!

Ready, Set…FIESTA!

Buenos dias caro amigos e bueno CINCO DE MAYO AI-AI-AI-ARIBA!

I’m feeling super festive and in the spirit of the holiday today, something about Cinco de Mayo just brings the spicy Latina spirit out of me, even though I’m not Latin at all (hey, Italian is close enough, non?), but you can’t deny the way your hips hypnotically sway in a figure-8 to the sound of  muey caliente a Latin beat! I grabbed a mix from rock my run called ‘Ready, Set, Fiesta’ in the spirit of the holiday to power me through my long run today and boy did it ever have me wanting to shake my booty – which is kind of difficult to do when you’re running forward and your hips are wanting to go side-to-side in a cha-cha slide!

This past week in running has been FABULOUS despite my sore bum (self-diagnosing as a tight piriformis/glute muscle, but basically a literal pain in my assets, *ehm) and persistently sore legs. The pain, while constant, hasn’t been anything I haven’t been able to power through, or that leaves me unable to walk after, so it’s all good. I’ve been stretching and rolling like a fiend, babying these gams of mine because they are so precious and dear to me! This week’s miles went as follows: 

Monday: 1.25 walking miles with Charlie, at the height of my bum pain. 3.5 ellipticalled @gym, quads shredded.

Wednesday: 7 exploratory trail miles.

Friday: 5 sore miles around my usual suburban loop

In between, I’ve been doing a TON of walking, yoga, bodyflow, a Stairmaster HIIT sesh and some abs/weights. It’s been a fun week, and I’m learning that rest days/recovery days are pretty darn essential, and I’m starting to learn to enjoy them and do light activities to keep my sanity on those days. Falling more and more in love with yoga has been a result of that.

Today’s run was… well I’ll just let some pictures do the talking, they’re each worth 1000 words, you know!

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After my run, I was RUNGRAY! I made this random concoction last night, not sure what to call it, and it wasn’t pretty so I didn’t bother taking a picture, plus I was starving, I had a spoon in it before I could even think about pictures at that point. I guess I’ll call it BIAJ (Breakfast In A Jar), because it wasn’t quite OIAJ. Into the jar went: 1 tbsp scottish oats, 1 tbsp flax and chia powder by Organic Traditions (New-to-me product, I’m a fan), 2 tbsp TVP, 1/2 chopped cinnamon roll Quest Bar (LOVE), 1/2 cup Greek yogurt, 1/2 cup almond milk. I told you it was random… but oh-so-delicious! STOP! IT’S FOODIE TIME!

True Life.

This past week has been pretty great with food, too, mainly because I the farmer’s market we get our veggies from, Joseph’s Farm Fresh, stocked up on Kabocha finally and I grabbed a couple and BBQ’d it for the first time. I’m now obsessed, baked kabocha just isn’t good enough anymore, it has to be BBQ. It gets all crispy on the outside, but then you bite into it and it’s like silk on your tongue. BBQ your squash, people. Just do it. Thank me later. It’s so good, I don’t even put nut butter on it – I KNOW!!!! Like, no? To nut butter? AM I FOR REAL? Yes. Try it. Trust.  Anywho, again, let’s let the foodporn speak for itself:

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Now, I know you’re all like ‘what is this crust! High protein, gluten/grain free, AND pick-up-able?! I NEED THIS! Trust, I needed this too. One thing I’ve really been missing is pizza. Yes, you have your cauliflower-crust (aka- cheese fest) recipes, and your brown rice/tapioca/arrowroot/coconut flour/almond meal crust recipes (most of which are empty-carb central and you can only have a slice and I’m an ‘eat the whole thing’ kinda gal), but they’re never quite what I’m looking for. So I threw this together, said a little prayer and cooked it. The result: Amaze-Balls. Here’s what you do:

Protein Pizza Crust

2 TBSP Black Bean Flour (I used Bob’s Red Mill)

Seasonings of Choice

Dash of Baking Powder

3/4 Cup Egg Whites

1. In a bowl, whisk together your flour and seasonings. I used a bit of pepper and this roasted red garlic salt free seasoning we got from some epicure party a while back. It’s pretty good stuff! You could do nutritional yeast, Mrs. Dash, garlic powder, plain old S&P, whatever your heart and taste buds desire!

2. Add egg whites to the dry ingredients and whisk until frothy.

3. On a greased pan (I used coconut oil) over medium to medium-high heat, cook it up. Then flip. Transfer to a plate and top it!

**Now, at this point you can throw it in the oven. However, it’s BBQ season and since I was going to be grilling up some squash, I threw this bad boy on the grill! Just got me some aluminum foil, sprayed with EVOO and let it grill up. I accidentally burnt it a bit, so keep an eye on it. Otherwise, you’re good to go! Enjoy!  If you try it, let me know how it goes!

Now I”m off to eat some dinner and get ready for festivities downtown. I have a Skinny Girl Margarita in the fridge with my name on it, a neon coral dress and hips that don’t lie when I say I want to shake it up on the dance floor tonight! I hope you all have a fabulous Cinco de Mayo!

Are you celebrating Cinco de Mayo? Tell me how in the comments! 

WIAW + Run Through It and Yoga Tips!

HAPPY MAY DAY! Can you believe it? We made it, winter is officially behind us, we’re at the head of the pre-cursor month to summer and race season is underway! I swear it was like overnight the trees started bursting with buds, little green fuzzies speckling every branch that just makes me *squeeee* and do a flash-dance like a tweenie bopper crossing paths with a Justin Bieber cardboard cut-out next to his perfume display in Shoppers Drug Mart. You know what else makes me super happy and excited? Running and food – my two true loves which made me feel spoiled rotten this morning because they were just so good to me!

On The Running Front:

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If you follow me on Instagram (Joanned3), you know I’ve been dealing with a huge pain in my ass that has had me sidelined from running, naturally during the same week spring decides to come out in full force with endless sunshine, temps in the 20s (I’m Canadian, we’re talkin’ celsius here) and not a cloud in the sky! Out of nowhere, this pain in the centre of my left butt-cheek appeared, making it impossible to walk let alone run. I had to resort to fake running 3.5 miles on the Octane Fitness elliptical/smart stride thing at the gym the other day, and then take a whole day off running yesterday after a painfully failed attempt at a morning run. I baby-ed my ass like never before, did some hip/glute strengthening, stretching and foam rolling, plus some upper body weights for good measure, yesterday morning and then foam rolled throughout the day. This morning I was determined!

I woke up bright and early, finding my bum situation feeling better, although still present. No matter, I could run through it! I foam rolled, did a little stretching with some yoga poses, grabbed the paper and poured myself a cup of coffee. As I made it to my favorite section, the horoscopes (not the news or anything, no no, horoscopes are where it’s at!), I was pleasantly surprised with what was in store for us Sagittarians today. It began with “You can run” and ended with “Believe in yourself”. If that’s not the most stellar horoscope you’ve ever received in your entire life, if that’s not a sign from the universe that you need to embrace challenges like a pain in your ass and just push through it, I don’t know what is. 

With 1/3 of a banana in me, and the prospect of a kick-ass breakfast on the other side of this morning run, I hit the road. And it hit me back. I winced a little, but fixed my form and powered through it. The first mile was kind of rocky, I wasn’t sure I could keep at it, but I remembered what my horoscope said and mentally took a step back to re-evaluate the situation. Was it pain or discomfort? I pondered, settling somewhere in between, deciding it wasn’t anything I couldn’t work with. I felt fast, I felt good, I was more aware of my left butt-cheek than I’ll ever be in my life, but I was running and I was happy. I took my usual route backwards, then went on a little adventure in the trails around here, discovering a new way to enter them and realizing that this, too, was a part of the Ojibway nature reserve. Hooray nature! While I didn’t come across any deer this time around, I was met with bunnies, the chirping of frogs/toads, and a half-eaten fish carcass. You know, the usual trail finds… SOMEONE didn’t finish their dinner! Rude.

First thing I did, after kicking off my soggy shoes and socks, was hit the mat for some stretching and rolling. I did some googling to find stretches to help my bum, and pigeon pose was deemed ‘the most effective’. I have zero mobility in my hips, and while I’m getting more flexible the more I practice yoga (guess who can do a full twist in warrior II now!! Hooray!), pigeon pose is one I love to hate, because the stretch is so good, yet I can’t really get into it. If you’re like this, you know how frustrating that can be, when you know you need a good stretch but your hips just won’t allow it. Well, I’ve got good news!!! BED-YOGA! Think of your bed as a giant yoga block, put your hands on the edge of your bed and do an elevated downward facing dog – also great if you can’t get your heels to touch the ground in a traditional down-dog, really emphasizing the stretch in the back of the legs! Then swing your leg up, get into a scorpion to go even deeper, then swing your knee through and into pigeon, fold over your bent knee and feel the release! It’s a miracle, and I love it! It keeps my hips aligned and lets me actually stretch instead of wince and wonder when it’s over.

Foodie Things:

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In light of all of the food porn on my phone that I need to get rid of, and the fact that I’m super behind in sharing it, I decided to take advantage of What I Ate Wednesday and share a microcosm of eats, if you will. Some of it, I have no idea what/when/where/how it was except for the memory of deliciousness these pictures bring up. Makes me sad, I want to eat these things and I can’t remember how I did them. Note to self: WRITE EVERY KITCHEN EXPERIMENT DOWN!

Well, that’s enough rambling for me today. Happy Eating and Running, y’all!

How are you kicking off May Day?

That Moment… (A Week in Review)

…when you realize you’re a health/fitness/running blogger who hasn’t blogged in almost 2 weeks.

…when your phone’s photo album is overflowing with food-porn that you can’t delete because (a) it just looks too darn delicious and (b) you haven’t posted it or the recipe that goes with it yet and (c) shoot, what was it that I put in the topping? Was it 1 tbsp or 2?

…when you, no longer able to procrastinate or deny the fact that you’re a student with finals, practically take a week off of running/working out and you become the biggest, most miserable B with an insatiable itch from sitting on your bum huddled over stacks of paper, getting arthritis in your wrist from writing and studying and typing

…when your Hotmail inbox needs spam-clearing, it’ll only take a second, you need a study break anyway.

…when you say ‘eff this, I need endorphins‘ and go to the gym for a quickie 2.5 mile interval play treadmill run you actually LOVE, but that your left hamstring/the weird bulging, throbbing vein in it does not and that you shrug your shoulders to because you’re sweating and sweat is the elixir of happiness, then go lay it all out on the bike during spin class where you make ugly squinty faces because you’re pushing every last bit of strength into that hill climb/race interval.

…when, during that spin class, there’s a raindrop of sweat stuck to your chin that you don’t wipe off because you like it there, because you feel like a beast, because you’re a badass spinning mofo!

…when, coming off a great workout high, decide it’s time to get serious, get your head back into the game, and then open Pinterest. So many recipes! THERE’S A RECIPE FOR GLUTEN-FREE PULL-APART BREAD? PEANUT-BUTTER AND WHAT CUPCAKES? DONUTS?! DDOOOONUUTTTSS!!!!!!

…when you realize you have 3 hours to submit that 12-page paper that you only have 1/4 finished, and that you are completely unsatisfied with and keep rewriting, only nothing comes transpires to what you actually want to say or how you wish to say it.

…when it’s 30 minutes before the deadline, your paper is reminiscent of doggie diarrhea (yeah, I went there), but what’s done is done and once you submit you can try to erase this horrible experience from your mind and know you’ll never ever ever have to utter the words “the effects of performance on the cognitive experience; mind-body-world connection; the conscious experience of theatre; the spectator/spectacle relationship or, as brilliant as she is, Suzan-Lori Parks Play ever again!

…when, because of said paper, you don’t study for 2 of your exams and have that ever-so-popular moment of “walk into an exam, read the first question, don’t know squat” and then rely on the BS-ing powers that be and the grace of God, calling upon every angel, saint and miracle to get you through.

…when you’re done. You walk out of that last final exam and realize you have no more time constraints. And, of course, that’s the moment you forget all of the things you had lined up from Pinterest to bake, or that new workout you wanted to try, or just the sheer motivation to do anything at all at a time when you really can go out and do ANYTHING at all! Like, you know, blog, you know that thing you started? That thing you mysteriously make an appearance on from time to time, then go MIA for ages? That thing you have 48025029358-3 to the power of infinity things to share but never did?

Oh yeah, that…

That was basically my past week, in a not so nutty nut-shell. When they say sitting for extended periods is killing you, THEY AIN’T LYIN‘! All of that confinement to a chair while I wrote and re-wrote that dreadful final paper and studied for exams did a number on the left side of my body, from the back of my knee to my lower back -and the windoooowwwww to the waaall – to the wall – to sweat drip down my chin! – (come on, I know you were thinking it, this song, it’s like the sneeze reflex to the phrasing ‘from…to’). Between the sitting, and how I sit when I’m writing, which is leaning in a hunch over my left side, did a number on my hip. It was a number I ignored Wednesday when I ran intervals then went to spin, and again in going for a 5 mile run yesterday morning and ignoring the pain the first stride onward, and the subsequent debilitating pain afterwards that had me unable to walk and has me sidelined today. Damn it…

I noticed, doing yoga at home one morning a couple days ago, that there was this MASSIVE vein running from the back of my knee to my butt that was bulging out, throbbing and painful when I contracted my hamstring or put any pressure on my left leg. But it wasn’t debilitating, just uncomfortable, one of those pains you think “suck it up, yo, let’s do this!”, so I did. After that yoga sesh, I did a pilates sesh, which I haven’t done in ages and which my abs are still feeling, and that I, naturally, love. Like when it hurts to laugh, when joy brings you pain, you know you worked it on that mat, no matter how silly those froggies on the stability ball felt, that move ain’t playin’! I also took Charlie for an almost-3-mile walk. I did a lot of walking this past week to make it up to Char for neglecting him while I did student things. He was quick to forgive and is back to cuddles and sleeping with me at night. I missed that furball jammed into my sidebody and hogging all the covers at night.

Anywho, yesterday was my return to running after an (almost) week off. I fake-ran/cross-ramped 4.5 miles on Sunday, but that doesn’t count. A very lovely and wise lady La Petite Runner reminded me that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that it does. I woke up yesterday morning, after having slept with a knee brace on that seemed to ease the pain, ready to take on the trails. Lately, as more runners are appearing on the roads to soak up the beautiful weather and get into Spring training, that there are all these great running places and trails I’ve yet to even explore. I’ve literally run past these somewhat obscured gems and never realized it! I also didn’t want my so-called ‘first run back’ to be hampered by the pressure of numbers. I get kind of obsessive over the stats, putting pressure on myself and sucking the joy out of just running. So I left the Garmin behind and used the Charity Miles app on my phone. Run miles and raise money for a good cause? What better way is there to jump back into the sack with the love of your life, Mr. Therun? And since it was a trail run, I ran for The Nature Conservancy.

Nature was in full force on the sunny, mild morning of yester! The new-to-me trail was actually linked up to the Ojibway Nature Reserve – I had no idea! I passed those woods every day and never knew it was a part of the reserve/park. It lead right to the hub of the park, where paved trails branch off into mulch and dirt trails, and bridges over ditches and creeks, and a lovely pond area. I crossed paths with a deer, a beauty right in front of me, just doing her thing while I did mine. Then not too long after, another! Wagging his white bushy tail, giving me a glance then poking his nose through some roughage on the ground. I thought to myself, this is why I love running. Here I am, doing what comes naturally, what puts me in the zone, what psychologists refer to as ‘flow’. And there that doe is, doing what she does naturally, flowing. And when those two flows meet, there’s this sense of unity and peace about it, like everything is the way it should be. I thought back to the tragedies that have transpired over the past week or so and compared it to that moment and couldn’t help but think if people would just be, if they’d just flow, then respect and peace with one another would just come naturally. If we could just detach from all that constrains us, all that separates us, we’d find the happiness and love and purpose we’re all so desperate to find. I get pretty philosophical on runs like this. Not so much during, I found I really didn’t think at all during this run, it was beautiful after being overwhelmed with information up there all week. But thinking back it’s just like…wow!

You don’t have to ask me twice, Ryan. DONE. And I totally just PR’d.

I also kept seeing geese in pairs. It was weird. I felt like I was being slapped in the face with Noah’s Arc, if his arc was to be filled with just geese. That, and the sad fact that I am but one half of an undetermined pair. Mr. Therun is great, but he’s kind of all over the place, when we meet it’s not always sunshine and rainbows and while he heats me up when we’re together, when we’re apart it’s a cold, lonely existence….and he’s abusive. Remember that injury I was telling you about? Yeah, well, he totally ignored it and hit me with even more abuse after we spent some time together. I couldn’t even walk!

Which brings me to today. I wanted to go running again at Ojibway, but I also don’t want a repeat of yesterday where I felt like it was a pain I could run through, only to aggravate it. I’ve done that so many times in the past and it’s only lead to longer periods of no running and I really don’t want to do that. As shaky as my relationship with running has been, I really do love it, and if this past forced week off has taught me anything about it, it’s that running will be there no matter what, and that it really is a part of me. So, instead of sabatoge myself yet again, I’m taking another day off for TLC – yoga, foam rolling, a nice long walk with Char and some baking!

I’ve also learned that not working out/running, while it sucks because I just love it so much, isn’t the end of the world. My love for fitness is interlaced with fear – that I’ll spin out of control and gain all of the weight back. I can’t deny that. It’s constantly on my mind, regardless of how much I’ve accomplished, of how far I’ve come and in maintaining my weight loss, there’s always that risk of going back. Exercise and the calorie burn is like insurance, a safety net. If I’m always burning, burning, burning then I don’t have to worry so much. But that backfires into a neurotic obsession over things like calories burned/eaten and macros and all that junk. A week of no numbers is what made me want to ditch the Garmin. A week with no…pressure. At least not when it came to fitness/nutrition. At the end of it, nothing happened. I actually feel better.  That being said, though, I can’t wait to jump back into the saddle and get moving! Exercise is play-time for me, and I”m just a kid at heart. I don’t wanna work, I just wanna run/spin/lift all day!

On the foodie end of things, I am way way WAY behind on recipes to post and food porn. I have a couple of breakfasts here that have been phenomenal and I just NEED to share, it’d be rude to keep these pictures hidden away from my fellow foodies. I also have a couple of reviews to write up – Vega, EnergyBits and PerfectFit Protein. I can’t wait to tell you all about these great products/companies that I just adore! (Disclaimer: was not in any way/shape/form paid/endorsed by them, they’re just things I’ve tried and loved and wish to share because I had a good experience with them and know my fellow health/fitness geeks like to be informed, as I do!).

So, now that I’m done school for a bit I’ll have more time to glitz up the blog and make it complete! Like actually writing that About Me section, and getting things up to speed. For now, I’m off to get my yogi on and take Charlie for a stroll before it rains. Happy Sunday, all!